Happy Side

Sometimes when you're frustrated and things aren't going the way you think they should, it's best to look at the positive. There always 2 sides to a coin. Here's my happy side and things i'm looking forward to:

*Tomorrow is payday!

• This means I get make a much needed trip to the grocery store.
• 2 jobs = 2 paychecks
  

*Thanksgiving Break!

• I'm actually really excited to go home! I've only made the trip once this semester.
• 4 whole days without school AND work

(Yes, this is a real life, very typical family scene)

*Christmas Break!

• Again, a lengthy amount of time without school
• Tacky Christmas sweater party
• I will more than likely be reunited with a majority of the people in this picture!
  

(Including my best friend!)

*May!

• For those of you who know me well, know what the big deal is :)

hmm....

While sitting in Austin traffic this evening, my mind began to wonder...
Impatient = Selfish

Thoughts?

Highlights!

Since I am finally over my quarter-life crisis, I thought I would share a few highlights of the past few months..

Jack Johnson concert in North Carolina!

Zip-lining with some of my favorite friends!

My brother and his fiance came to visit!

Some of my favorite redheads!

Camping!

HE

Over the summer I prayed that God would strengthen my faith, challenge me, and grow me. I went through the summer thinking "this is good, I can handle this". Once I began to fully take on that mindset, I felt like my world got totally turned upside down. Things weren't good and I couldn't handle it. Through the course of a few breakdowns and sabbaticals I finally saw for myself and came to the reality that HE is good and HE can handle it, obviously not me. Now, this wasn't a new concept for me. I even practiced it, most of the time. But, it's amazing how easy it is to forget these foundational truths.. life gets busy, sometimes too busy; we're in new situations, so we lead the way; we carry others burdens - Kids, don't try this at home -

After revamping my schedule to ensure that I have and take my chill out time, letting God lead the way into this unknown territory, and laying these burdens at the cross and allowing the Lord to take them, I can honestly say, life is hard but God is so good, He has not given me more than I can handle and with Him I can do it. I've been able to see victories, continue to pray for miracles, and and thank God for answering my prayers. Because God has given me His joy, love, grace and mercy I can praise him in this storm :)

and the "g" begins to set in

Yesterday I was getting my hair cut and my hairdresser informs me I have some pre-mature gray hair. This is not what I wanted to hear a month before my 25th birthday.

reaching the top

Usually I have high tolerance level.
Today i have reached that level.
My frustration level is quite high.
And it's annoying.

Sometimes I think everything would be easier if I just packed up my car and moved.
But then I would be running.
And that would create a whole new set of problems.

Until the day comes when I feel like it's ok to pack up my car and move, i will stay here, waiting, and loving life the best that I know how.

Goodness

As many emotions filled my world today I've spent most of the evening:

Drinking Coffee
Praying
Journaling
Reading the Word of God
Running
Admiring God's Beauty
Soaking my Feet
Sitting in Silence
Worshiping

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:25-28

It's been a good evening!

It Is Well

Tonight I took a nice drive with the Lord. We explored some backroads I usually drive past and revisited some places I hadn't been in a while. Taking a drive through the country is one of my favorite things to do!
This summer hasn't been the easiest nor has it been the hardest. The Lord has definitely been strengthening and refining my character. Hard, but worth it.

There are a few situations in my life that I would describe as "bittersweet". I would rather not face these situations, but I know it's for the best. My flesh wants to be bitter about it, but my Savior's sweetness tends to outweigh that bitterness when I let it. A song by The Fray came on during my drive.. one of the lines was "sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same". So true, so true. Although the song is talking about a girl and relationships, I find this line so relevant for so many things.

Although some things are bittersweet and sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same, I will choose to sing "it is well with my soul". Because I serve and have a relationship with a gracious, loving, merciful Lord; with freedom and joy in my heart, I can sing "it is well with my soul".

wow

In our world today it is estimated that there are more than 143,000,000 orphaned children.



wow.

the eyes of the beholder

I feel like an emotional rollercoaster sometimes. Ugh, how obnoxious! Sometimes i'm ok with where I am in life. Sometimes i'm not ok with it. Overall I would like to say that I am quite content. I have 2 great jobs I love, i'm going to school for something I love, it's been a quiet/peaceful summer, I am perfectly fine without being married and having kids, I have some amazing friends. However, although I am working 2 jobs I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water, I still have a loooong time until I graduate, the quietness and peacefulness of the summer has begun to turn into boredom, I feel like the rest of the world my age is married making me feel like i'm out of the circle and hard to make friends my age without becoming the awkward 3rd of 5th wheel, although my friends are amazing most of them don't live near me or are moving even farther away in the way too near future (virginia is only 20 hours away. not bad, right?)

I've really begun to see a more in depth view of how beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. I could sit and throw a pity party every other night about how my life stinks, i could run from the things I don't want to face, or I can look life straight on and say bring on the beauty.

God is the Jehovah Jireh, God has a plan for my life, although this plan isn't like the rest of the world it's unique and that's alright (i often taking a different route than everyone else), and if I can't be ok with myself then how am i supposed to be ok with someone else. Sometimes I think it would be easier to revert to my old ways and choose to run and throw a pity party, but then it's almost as if God knocks me upside my head and says "really? do you remember what happened last time you did this?"

Moral of the story:
In the long run it's better to stop and smell the roses and realize the true beauty in everything!

Top 9

Since I can't decide what to write about, i thought I would enlighten you on a whole list of things going on in my head right now. Since it's July 9, I think the list should consist of 9 things :)

1. The downfall of not having roomates right now is that there is no one to help me tackle the killing of bugs in the apartment. I can usually handle this task on my own until they start jumping and flying ... Last night I was innocently sitting on my bed and a cricket comes flying across my room and heads directly for the disaster-laundry mountain corner of my room. He then reappears but the disappears into my printer. It was 1am, and I was sitting on my bed armed with 4 shoes and in a standoff with a cricket.

2. My good friend, Sami got married a little over a month ago! It was so fun being her maid-of-honor! Her and her husband, Kevin, are currently serving as missionaries in Kyrgyzstan, teaching baseball. They recently informed me that the Lord has another child in His kingdom!

3. I went to Colorado with my aunt to see some of my cousins who I hadn't seen in years. It was so refreshing to experience cooler weather and be reminded of how big, beautiful, and creative God our maker is!

4. I went to a Landon Pigg show in Houston with my friend, Mikey and his sister, Preslie. Despite my massive amount of sleep deprivation, it was a fun evening! We learned that Landon's girlfriend does indeed wear a red cape!

5. I went to the church David Crowder leads worship at. It was the coolest looking venue and reminded me of one of my favorite coffee shops in CS. However, looks can be deceiving. Typically when I go into a church or attend some form of a service I can feel the spirit of God. Whether it's reflected in the joy on people's faces, the passion in the voice of the pastor, through the actions of the worship leader, or just simply experiencing the warmth and fragrance of the Lord. Well, not so much that particular Sunday morning. It was so sad! There was no joy, no spirit of God, no life, no nothing! Thankfully the Holy Spirit lives inside of me so I don't have to rely on someone or something else for Him to show up!

6. That same night I went with some friends to a Shane & Shane concert in Austin. They're some of my favorite musicians! The presence of the Holy Spirit was so thick and real! It was so evident that their lives were completely saturated with the living God! Amazing night of music and worship!

7. I've realized I have a tendency to want to "keep up with the jones' " Not necessarily with tangible possessions like clothes or shoes, but other things. Over the past few weeks God has slowly been revealing this to me. First He reminded me of some specific promises he has for me, then tells me to wait ... be patient and faithful and joyful during this waiting period! He has slowly revealed these things to me, bringing them into focus, and shows me how they're interwoven. It's clearer now more than ever before!

8. I'm currently listening to "Go Outside" by Robbie Seay Band. I highly recommend that you check it out! I love music so so much! I cannot imagine not being able to not hear music!

9. It's almost 1pm, i'm still in my pj's, and need to decide what i'm doing with my weekend. Peace out.

Tales From The River - Part 2

One of my favorite places to spend my free time in San Marcos is by the river. It's pretty, peaceful, and interesting. Here are a few of my recent encounters.

A High Jump Competition ...

One evening I went for a jog along the river and learned that there was a concert in the park. Of course I stopped and listened for a while then ran back to my car to get my camera. It was a South American/ Flamenco type band. Very talented! Near the front of the stage was an older gentleman, probably in his 70's, cutting a rug! And yes, the girl is wearing a red cheer leading outfit with leggings.

And of course, some guys giving juggling lessons

Grace-Driven Effort

I read this on The Village Church's blog and really identified with it. This particular quote actually came from "For the Love of God" by D.A. Carson.

I encourage you to not just skim over it like I did the first time...Take a few minutes to sit with it, pray over it, walk through it with God.

“People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, and obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; we drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; we drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated.”

Cell Phone ... Community

In my absence of blogging over the past month I have observed a few things. One of the main things that sticks out to me is how obnoxious we have let our cell phones become. Wow, it's bad. I remember when I got my first cell phone; I was 16 and had just started driving. My parents wanted me to have it in case of an emergency. I hardly used it. Now a days it's unheard of for a person under 16 to not have a cell phone. People think they cannot live without it and the whole world will come to an end if they do not have one, or if something happens to theirs. 10+ years ago hardly anyone had a cell phone and they survived and are still surviving today.

Now, there is nothing wrong with cell phones, I have one myself and am very thankful for it. However, I think cell phones have caused us to loose a true sense of community and real communication. I can remember back to when I was growing up. If I went down the street to a friend's house I didn't call my parent's cell phone, I left them a note taped to the door or on the counter of where I was. If I wanted to talk to someone, I would talk to them in person or call them, not text them. Although I am guilty of texting I do not consider it a real form of conversing. To me, this should be done in person, or via voice to voice communication on the phone. It's hard to know what the text really means sometimes and the real message can get lost in translation so easily.

Since we do insist on using a cell phone or texting I think we should be courteous about it. Please use cell phone etiquette...

TEXTING:
~ if you're in the company of others, please refrain. You should be focused on the people you're hanging out with. If you would rather be focused on your texting then leave. If you're hanging out with me and are texting regularly, then based on your actions i'm going to think you don't really want to be around me.
~ if you're with a group of people (more than 2) do not text someone else in the group. if you have something to say, say it out loud. And if you can't say it out loud please save it for later. How do you feel when you walk into a room and learn that you're being talked about.... not the best feeling in the world; well that should go for texting as well

PHONE CONVERSATIONS:
~ if you're with other people, please refrain from talking on the phone, especially if you're in a small area like a car. Either leave the room or talk to the person later. You're full attention is not going to be on either person, and that tends to get annoying at times.
~ if you're talking on a phone in public, please, lower your voice. You don't have to yell into the phone, the other person can hear you just fine as well as everyone else around you.

I am guilty of doing all of these things. It wasn't until I started noticing them within other people that I started noticing them within myself and was convicted. Did I really have that bad of cell phone manners? Probably. Thankfully, I have grown up and learned that my life does not revolve around my cell phone and that there is more to life than my cell phone and better ways to communicate with people.

Do you think cell phones help or hurt true community? I think both. They help connect us, yet distract us. Community, the word, is from the old french and latin meaning "with/together" and "gift". If we are living in community, as I think we should, we should be with each other, together, and it is a gift. I like that. I'm praying to build community, real community, this summer. I have no clue what it'll look like or what it'll consist of, but I know it will involve limited cell phone use and i'm excited! :)

Find a Bible and get Ready...

Find a bible and get ready...

I think one of the hardest things for me is to see my friends, people I care so much about, not see and live up to their potential.. To watch them live a mediocre life and settle for less than what God has for them. I’m not ok with this. It breaks my heart and breaks the heart of God. He wants us to commune with Him … to intimately talk to him, listen to him, to allow the Holy Spirit to dwell in us and guide us. Ultimately, God tells us that the greatest commandment is to “Love God with our heart, mind, and soul.” (Matt. 22:36-38) The most important thing for us to do is love God with everything, in everything, and through everything. I don’t think this love should be a distant or casual love. Although “love” has become a casual word/phrase we throw around the definition is not casual. (Look it up at dictionary.com) I believe if we really and truly love God then we will actively follow him and do anything for him. If you think about it... if we love a certain kind of food or restaurant then we will find time to go to that restaurant or find a way to incorporate that food into our regular diet. if we love a pair of shoes or cute shirt we’ll work hard and save up money to buy that item. if we love visiting a certain place we’ll save money, make plans, take off work and go visit that place. if we love person we’ll do almost anything for them. if we really love God what do we do? do we make sure he’s incorporated into our regular diet, do we work hard for him? are we diligent with our finances to help further his kingdom? do we set aside time to spend with him? are we willing to do everything we can to make sure we communicate with him on a regular basis? Jesus says “if you love me, you will obey my commands” (john 14:15) We can’t take our favorite food, clothes, shoes, people to Heaven with us. They do not matter! What matters is that we get to Heaven because we have a relationship with Jesus. “Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.” Colossians 3:2

Read James 2:14-26…
How can we enter the kingdom of Heaven if we’re dead? If faith (belief) in God is not accompanied with deeds, it is dead. If we believe in God but do nothing about it we are dead.

By the same token, our deeds alone will not save us (Titus 3:5, 2 Timothy 1:9, Ephesians 2:8-9) That’s why we celebrate Easter.

“I know your deeds that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So because you are lukewarm – neither hot nor cold – I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” -Revelation 3:15-16

Also check out Matthew 7:15-23 …

I've been praying about this for a few weeks, and this is what the Holy Spirit has put on my heart to share with you .. please don't take it too lightly or too harshly. i'm not pointing fingers, i'm just passing the message on...

Tales From The River

Last year I would always come home with crazy stories of things I encountered on the bus. Well, since then i've moved across town and am not on a different bus route and haven't really experienced any crazy encounters. But, I have seen some crazy things at the river that I feel I need to share!

*During spring break some friends and I went to the river one afternoon and this is what we saw:
- A duck chasing a girl, in the water. (some guys distracted it and it eventually left her alone)
- A dog chased the duck, in the water
- The dog chased the girl, in the water. I think the dog got confused and thought she was his owner.

*Yesterday, while I was at the river, there was a really good steel drum band playing.

Just wait, there will be more to come!

Go Green

A few days ago I was praying, laying things down at the cross, giving struggles to God; a sometimes hard, yet beautiful thing. I saw a picture of The Cross, I was there in front of it kneeling and praying. At the foot of the cross was a bunch of trash (or at least that's how it looked to me) representing our imperfections and sin that we've given up. Last night at a worship service I saw that picture again, but this time I saw it more clearly and was able to just sit and meditate on it for a bit. I saw that it wasn't just trash that was at the foot of the cross but that it was trash that was recyclable (plastic bottles, cardboard, used paper). God showed me that he wants to take our imperfections and sin, that trash, and recycle it ... make it something new, useful, beautiful out of it. But first, we must give it up, release it from our hands into the powerful hands of God.

"Yet if you devote your heart to him and stretch out your hands to him if you put away the sin that is in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent. Then you will lift up your face without shame; you will stand firm and without fear. " Job 11:13-15

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 - When we are weak, God is strong

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28

Ecclesiastes 3:11 - He makes everything beautiful

So, why not give God our "trash"?

The Calling

I love times when I can just sit and ponder things.. everything in the world seems to stop except the drinking of my cup of coffee and God pouring out his promises and truth to me. I'll share a few with ya..

~ I am not called to live a mediocre, alright life.

~ I have been called to not just endure but to fight the battle, not just give up and throw a pity party.

~ Through God I am fully armed and victorious (Romans 8:37, Ephesians 6:10-20)

~ I will set my eyes on things above, not earthly things (Colossians 3:2)

These are not only for me to hear and live out, but for my brothers and sisters. I pray I live these out boldly as an ambassador of Christ. I pray my brothers and sisters recognize their calling and run after it full force.

circus

Sometimes I feel like i'm surrounded by a circus! We have a park on campus that the river runs through and people love to hang out there. This weekend when I drove by this is what I saw..

- a girl walking on a tightrope (a rope tied between 2 trees about 2 feet off the ground)
- a couple groups of people playing guitars with lots of people around them (i'm assuming they were singing kum-by-yah)
- frisbie dan and his fan club
-people playing soccer
- people fishing
- people swimming
- people flying kites

I'm pretty sure you would have said the same thing if you were in my car with me

Seizing Your Divine Moment

Last week at bible study someone shared an exert from a book "Seizing Your Divine Moment" by E.R. McManus. God has put it in the middle of my thoughts this week and I thought I would share it with ya!

"You are called not to be a survivor, but to be a conqueror. With passion and anticipation, you move with determination into the eye of the hurricane ....."

"...I don't know what it means for others, but for a follower of Jesus Christ, what it means to live on the edge is to stand at the epicenter of where the kingdom of God confronts the kingdom of darkness."

What is your hurricane?

What is your epicenter?

Conversation

Monday morning I had a conversation with my mom and thought it was quite humorous so I thought I would share it with ya... (please keep in mind that she recently jumped on the facebook bandwagon)

Mom: hey, what's going on?
Me: nothing much, just getting ready for school
Mom: is everything ok?
Me: yes...
Mom: well, i just read your status and it said you weren't doing facebook anymore. did something happen? was someone messing with you? is everything ok?
Me: yes mom, everything's fine, facebook was just distracting me too much.
Mom: yea, i know what you mean. alright, i just wanted to make sure everything was ok.

:)

Facebook

After taking a trip down memory lane of the past month i've come to the realization that time really does fly when you're having fun! 2010 has definitely gotten off to a great start; i've had some really cool conversations, gone on many adventures, and have seen God do some amazing stuff! I'm so excited to see what happens over the next 11 months!

Fasting is not something i generally do on a regular basis.. maybe once or twice a year? Well, a few days ago a good friend emailed me saying her and a few other ladies were doing a fast and asked if i'de like to join in. After a long talk with Jesus at a coffee shop yesterday afternoon I felt ready to do this fast, the only thing left unsettled was what I would fast from.. Well, last night I watched a video online that one of my friends posted about Haiti. It was heartbreaking! I was ready to jump on a plane and GO! Since jumping on a plane this morning wasn't really an option the only thing I knew to do was pray over the people, churches and land of Haiti. The more I prayed the more I realized how big the need was and how little time I have been setting aside to pray over these things. Yes, I pray for Haiti almost everyday, but it's usually quick and brief. I felt the Holy Spirit whispering to me that I needed to spend some serious time on a regular basis in prayer over this nation. I agreed and asked God to begin to help me remove distractions and hindrances out of my life. One thing that came to mind was... facebook.

The first excuse that came to mind was "i can't give it up, it's how i communicate with so many people". Then this morning in church God enlightened me on what true communication was and how it wasn't all about posting pictures or liking statuses but that it was more about divine fellowship with the Lord and sharing that with others. Then he shows me who he wants me to share this fellowship with and of course it's people he's been showing me for a while now, i just "haven't gotten around to it". Lame, I know.

So as of February 1, i'm fasting from facebook for a few weeks so I can spend more time praying for Haiti and really communicating with others! Stay tuned to see how it goes!

**Oh, this is the link for the video about Haiti, you should watch it!
http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/special/32-hours-the-church-in-haiti

words cannot express...

Words cannot express how amazing God is, and how he faithfully provides! This past weekend is a perfect testimony of how God does provide and how he works all things out for the better! I'll just give a brief recap of just a few of the highlights from the weekend:

-About halfway there (it's about a 4 hour trip) the radio in my car stopped working. Of course there was no one with me so the only thing left to do was have a wonderful chat with Jesus! I love when you're in those moments.. no distractions, no where to be except right where you are, soaking up the presence of the Lord.

- One of my friends gave me a card, in that card was a giftcard to wal-mart with a note saying her and her husband wanted me to be able to eat... (money has been really tight lately)

- A friend showed up at the wedding that I wasn't expecting to be there! I hadn't seen or talked to him in over a month I figured he had already moved to North Carolina bc of the army.

- My car broke down while I was there... because of this, some of my good friends and I got to stay and hang out longer than we planned. I also got to see my dad and brother and have some good, yet random talks with them! While I was in College Station getting my car fixed, I got to spend some time at my favorite coffee shop, hang out with some great friends (1 of them I hardly ever get to see), and cook some great food!

These are just a few ways God provided for me, worked everything out, and swept me off my feet this weekend. What a great way to start a new year and new decade!